Joy Still Lives Here

In February, our family lost our beloved golden retriever, Sadie.

She deserves a post all her own, because she brought so much joy into our lives. Losing her broke our hearts. Anyone who has loved a dog knows that they are never just a dog. They become part of the rhythm of your home, part of your family, part of your heart. And when they are gone, the empty spaces they leave behind can feel surprisingly large.

Then April brought the loss of my mom. June brought the loss of my husband’s mom. Three losses. Three reminders that grief has a way of changing the landscape of our lives.

And yet, today, my heart is overflowing with joy. How can that be? Because grief doesn't have to rob us of joy.

I think sometimes we mistakenly believe that if we are grieving, we are supposed to stay sad. That somehow laughter, excitement, anticipation, or happiness means we are moving on too quickly or leaving someone behind.

But that isn't how grief works. Grief and joy can live in the same heart. They can sit beside one another at the very same table. You can cry because you miss someone terribly, and laugh ten minutes later. You can feel the ache of what you have lost while also feeling deep gratitude for what is still here. You can carry sorrow in one hand and hope in the other.

Today, our family learned that our new golden puppy will join the world in just a few days! She will be one of approximately ten little golden ‘potatoes” who will soon bring unending joy to their human families. And someday soon, one of those little potatoes will become part of ours.

Her name will be Lily, and I can already imagine the smiles, the snuggles, the puppy breath, the velvety ears, and, of course, the zoomies. Does welcoming Lily mean we have forgotten Sadie?

Not for one second.

Sadie will always be our girl. She will always have her place in our family and in our hearts. But love makes room.  Our hearts make room. And sometimes, after tremendous loss, life gently reminds us that there is still something beautiful ahead.

That is what Lily feels like to me…not a replacement for Sadie. Not an eraser for grief. Not proof that we are “over” anything. She is simply new life. New joy. A new little chapter waiting to be written.

Every heart deserves to feel joy. Even a grieving heart--maybe especially a grieving heart.

So if you are walking through grief right now, please don't feel guilty when something makes you smile. Don't question yourself when you have a good day. Don't apologize for laughing. Don't believe that feeling joy means you loved the person you lost any less.

You can miss someone with your whole heart and still enjoy your life. You can grieve deeply and still believe in new beginnings. You can hold on to beautiful memories while making room for new ones.

Grief may change us, but it does not have to take everything from us. Sometimes, in the middle of all that has been lost, life sends us a little reminder. Sometimes that reminder comes with four paws, floppy ears, and a whole lot of zoomies.

We can’t wait to welcome you to the world, little Lily. We are already waiting to love you. 💛

And somewhere, I'd like to imagine Sadie wagging her tail in full agreement.